The struggle is real, yo!

Week 4 is in the bag. Four days of running and the first time I’ve run over 20 miles a week in a long while. I’ll take it.

7/11: Rest

7/12: 4.45 miles at 8.55 min/mile pace

7/13: 4.05 miles at 9.08 min/mile pace

7/14: Rest

7/15: 5.1 miles at 8.47 min/mile pace

7/16 Rest

7/17: 8 miles at 8.41 min/mile pace

Weekly total: 21.6 miles

But this doesn’t tell the full story. My running plan is approved by my PT. Increasing mileage 10% a week, including adding a mile to the long run per week. Nothing crazy. No speed work, no hill work – just building endurance.

In fact, my PT is confident that everything is going well and that I should continue increasing mileage and generally keep doing what I’m doing.

The problem is me. I was talking to her and almost waiting for her to tell me to dial things back. Things still haven’t clicked. My original injury has resolved itself but my left leg is still not quite right. No major pain just a little discomfort and probably a huge dose of paranoia. I mean a medical professional has told me that everything is fine – and a couple of aches as I’m getting my mileage up is totally normal and nothing to panic about, so why don’t I trust her?

I think it’s mostly that I’ve lost some faith in my body. I’m running but having trouble imagining that I’ll ever get a new PR or have that smooth flowing feeling when running. I guess I just need to appreciate that it will come. But if anyone has any stories of successfully navigating a return to running and learning to trust that your body can get back to it’s best. Please share!


11 thoughts on “The struggle is real, yo!

  1. Our own minds and self-doubt can play such negative roles in trusting our bodies and the recovery — hoping you’re able to push through that and build up your confidence in yourself again. I’ve thought about this often, especially in regards to my shin splints (on and off) the last 2 years, which are thankfully gone now — I think I was always so afraid of them flaring up or pre-meditating them on runs that I made it worse than it was. This really showed itself when I ran my marathon last year without a single step of pain, after freaking out about them for a full 2 months prior. Hope you’re feeling strong again soon, girl, and good job on the mileage!

    • I agree that so much is mental – and sometimes I feel as if I’m just waiting for the next pain to flare up which is probably the exact wrong thing to do. I’m an over-thinker/worrier anyway so not a great mix. I’m going to count on the fact that I’ve come back from injury before and hopefully this time we’re getting to the route of the problem. So glad that those pesky shins are behaving for you!

  2. Part of me feels like this right now. I’ve been limping every time I run the past few weeks. But it doesn’t hurt so is it all in my head? It’s so odd. Nice week!! Glad to hear you and your PT have a good plan!

  3. The 6 weeks I took off from my injury I used to cross train and strength train and I feel that really helped. I didn’t expect to come back and be as fast as I am now. That being said, the paranoia is still there and I think it always will be for me (even a little). Good luck to you and keep with the positive thoughts!!! It’s tough but self-doubt will only make things harder ❤

  4. It’s always tough coming back from injury as you have The Fear – will there be pain? Will I get the same injury again? How often/far can I run? and so on.
    My best advice is to listen to your body, do your physio/rehab religiously and build up sensibly. Before you know it, you’ll be back to your best again.

  5. I feel like I’m always injured. I’m back in PT for my SI joint however, my knee is now bothering me because my hip is collapsing. It just seems to be one thing after the other with me. I’m trying to run less and do more other activities.
    Hopefully this is nothing for you and just doubt…I’ve been there!

    • Thanks Anna! It seems as if everything is linked so intimately and if one little piece is tight or not working properly it translates down to something else. I hope your knee feels better soon!

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