If you read my blog regularly you might see me as a positive person. Or not. But that’s what I try to be. Focus on the good things and do my best. In running and in life.
But some days are not so positive. Some days all the things that have been bothering me come together and are just too overwhelming. Luckily, this doesn’t happen very often and usually doesn’t last long. But it’s a feeling that there is so much to do and there’s no way I can get it all under control that I feel mentally paralyzed. Things like – where will we be living and working next year (we are on work visas right now), how will we ever afford a house or retirement, all the really big things that don’t have easy answers.
I’ve learned that I need to let the stress overwhelm me for a day. Wallow a little. Recognize that life will find a way – and I’m not going to end up homeless on the streets. But that paralyzing feeling is scary. A feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. For me this feeling is fleeting. And I’m grateful for that.
I know that tomorrow will be better. And after that I’ll be back to my usual self. But today I needed to be alone and to focus on the good things that are coming up for me this summer (first marathon, Hood to Coast and wedding).